In Death Sex and Kant A Critique of Living by Dik Edwards one moment stands out as the spark that shows how a single bold encounter can launch a lifetime search to join sex with real knowledge. Rose Angwen remembers it clearly from her lockdown days when thoughts of suicide pulled her back to that afternoon.

Rose Sat On A Bench Watching The Group On The Grass

He looked like a romantic poet. Long hair to his shoulders. Sensitive aquiline nose. Blue eyes in the right place. A questioning look on his face. And a one inch scar from the outer corner of his left eyebrow. Onion and garlic smells came from the refectory kitchen.

Their Eyes Met And She Added A Sparkle Every Time

He glanced at her. She never looked away. Whenever he looked directly she sparkled. He responded with a sweet colouring. She had seen him in town before. She used to swing her shapely arse past him. She thought he never noticed her.

He Stood Up And She Followed Him To The Vestibule

She knew this was her chance. The quiet two hundred year old vestibule had oak panelling. A small chapel stood on the side. Silence felt like a study hour. She coughed. He turned and smiled. They stood right at the toilets.

She Grabbed His Hand And Led Him Into The Ladies

With a wicked smile she pulled him inside the cubicle. She told him to piss first. It was not easy from a hardening penis but he did. She blessed it with hand and mouth. Looked up at him smiling. Her lips planted firm on his starlit golden bough.

She Swallowed His Outflow And Felt A Note Of Terror

The poetic flow carried a tang of urine. That added the terror. She felt shocked by her own audacity. She had never swallowed before. True lovers drink the soul of their mate. Yet she felt stunned at challenging her natural politeness.

Terror Suddenly Made Sense In The Heart Of Sex

Later she thought about it. Terror lives in the hunger for experience. The fear that it might not be there. The fear of the death of philosophy. The fear of the unusable you. Life demands driving close to the edge. Without that edge sex stays plain.

She Told Him How Great It Felt They Both Loved Sex

Before he went back to his group she said it. He had been watching her a long time. She embodied the passion of coming summer. Even in autumn summer has to return. Two days later he headed to Cambridge. He asked if she could come. She said yes she would love to.

That single afternoon started everything for Rose. The fusion of sex and knowledge began right there with all its terror and promise and it shaped the rest of her life.